Cereal and Star Wars

Back when my family first moved to Vegas, we bought Chex cereal for the first time just because it had a computer game in it. That computer game was "Chex Quest" and it blew my fucking mind.

It's a total rip-off of Doom (which I had never played), where you play as a giant piece of Chex cereal and use weapons called Zorchers to send goo blobs back to wherever the fuck goo blobs come to Chex-man's turf from.

I could not, as hard as I tried, ever get past the first level.

Thirteen years later it exists as freeware and can be run on Windows XP (although it originates as a DOS program and could be run on Windows 3.1!)

I beat it in two hours. It's still fun as shit, and now I can actually play it properly. The original creator has even made sequels, which is awesome and I will probably hang out with those too (next time I'm bored at work).

Nostalgia achieved. And a big up to 1up.com for listing "Chex Quest 3" as one of the top 101 Free Games of 2009. I never would of remembered "Chex Quest" without this article.

P.S. Dark Forces also rocked my world back in the day. I still have the original disc for this! Check out the wiki after the jump.

So Tired of This Shit

I did not grow up with Michael Jackson. The first time I ever saw him was when I was at Disneyworld watching Captain Neo, thinking,

"That is one manly, badass chick."

It took 10 minutes of convincing from my Dad that this was, in fact, a male performer adored by fans worldwide. I was obviously disappointed and confused.

The next time I heard anything about him was the whole sleepover business at his house/themepark-specifically-for-children-even-though-he-doesn't-have-any/ranch.

A case of mistaken gender and a reintroduction as someone who might want to touch my 11 year old penis made it really difficult for me to love Michael Jackson.

Some of his songs are super. I was obsessed with Smooth Criminal in ninth grade, and thats great! His music was influential enough that it should be remembered, but just his music please.

I'm tired of the general public vibe being that Michael Jackson was a great person.

His music made him a legend. His influential song writing and dancing made him a legend. The legend that no one is focusing on is that he was a secretive kid toucher. He secretively touched kids until he got in real adult trouble!

Everyone knows O.J. murdered his wife. It's common knowledge. It's also common knowledge that he got away with it because he had good money for good lawyers.

Having hit after hit song does not excuse child molestation and murder, but I guess it makes you enough money to. Is it so easy to forget Jackson did no jail time whatsoever for the crimes I'm pretty sure he committed?

"Oh, he didn't go to jail for touching little boys? Whatever man, that Thriller music video was fucking awesome!"

I better not be hearing anyone say, "Come on man, he played great football" when O.J. dies.